Hurdles and Your Goals
Many people who are 'in shape' seem to think being healthy is easy and they can't understand how people can be overweight and unhealthy. Some people who are overweight and unhealthy are genuinely lazy, and I think many trainers and nutritionists would agree. But there are a lot of people who are in that position because of things that have happened in their lives that has caused them to take the unhealthy road in life.
I myself have been through extremely trying and tough times, especially over the last 4 years. I won't go into detail of what I have been through, simply because I don't want to and you wouldn't want to read it, but certain things have happened that have pushed me beyond my limits. I have had things taken from me, I have lost things, I've had to witness people who I love suffer, I have tried unbelievably hard to 'solve' my problems, and all the while it seemed as though nothing I did worked. I always felt like everything I did made me barely able to 'tread water' when in fact I wanted to swim (strange analogy there). People say things like 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger', in a way that's true, but in a way it's not. Some things will haunt you forever, some things you won't ever be able to get over. It's only when you come out the other side of your troubles, when you can say 'it's made me stronger'. Whilst you're going through those tough times, you never think 'I'm stronger because of this', you only think negative thoughts.
Being a nutritionist, I have worked with and have spoken to many people with weight related issues that have been through trying times. Usually there is a 'trigger' that has caused them to turn to food as a comfort, but sometimes there has been a build up of a number of factors that at some point all come to a head. Having gone through (and still going through to a certain degree) a lot of 'bad times', I can completely understand and relate to those who are going through a tough time. Saying things like 'don't worry, it will get better' is completely pointless, it never 'hit home' with me and I'm sure you would agree. So here's my advice....
Even though it seems impossible, you want to try and focus on the positives in your life. Try writing them down. I personally did that, not because I was crazy or something, but I found that writing down the positives in my life, even things I have done a long time ago, it helped reassure me that what's going on is only a temporary problem. With your fitness related goals, you want to do the same - write down your current situation, why you're not happy, why you want to change yourself, what are your goals? what are your aspirations? how do you want to look? Then write down things that you need to do in order to change them, even if some of the things are blatantly obvious, just write them down. Why all the writing? well it's a method that is used to help yourself regain control. The mind is a crazy machine and if left unfocused, it can drive you insane! By writing things down, it's there in front of you - you don't have to consciously think of those things, because they are right there.
Once you have everything written down and you have a plan, then you can move on. You can hire a trainer, a nutritionist or go online. There are tons of forums, as well as Facebook pages and Twitter where you can gain motivation, talk to people who are, or have gone through, similar experiences as yours. This will make you realise that your not 'the odd one out', that you CAN change and you will have the support you need. I personally get motivated by Twitter - because my timeline is full of athletes, personal trainers, nutritionists, fitness enthusiasts and so on. If you use social media a lot, then get following and liking accounts to do with health and fitness - that way when you go on those sites/apps, that's all you'll see!
It's all about being positive, but I fully understand that being positive is hard when you're going through a rough time. It took me a while to fully engage in a focused lifestyle, but it was worth it. You will have down days, you will sometimes lack motivation, but as long as you keep looking over your 'notes' you will be fine. Just remember, you're doing it for you, not for anyone else. Ignore any bad influences, focus on yourself, and give it all you have.